I'm not religious. But there is some value to religion in that it gives human beings a forum to debate morality and/or how we should treat each other. The problem with gay guys is that because religion has by and large abused us, we have just stopped having these types of conversations. As a result, we’ve thrown the baby out with the bathwater. In one sense, religion – in its most formal and rigid sense – may have outlived its usefulness. But there is a risk when we throw out the main vehicle by which humans question our own behavior and morality.
**** UPDATE - THE DOUCHE TEST ****
If someone tells you that you're an ass-hole or a jerk, our first instinct is to give ourselves good reasons for acting like a jerk. "Well, he was rude first." Or... "He doesn't know me." Sometimes these reasons are good and sometimes these reasons are full of crap. Here's a really easy way to test whether your behavior was obnoxious. (Incidentally, no one I've shared this challenge with has ever had the balls to do it.)
1) Find someone who will talk straight with you. This might be your mom, your best girl-friend, or someone else, but make sure that it's someone who will be completely honest.
2) Describe the situation, but REVERSE THE ROLES.
So if someone said that you acted like a jerk on the first date, rather than telling your friend, "I did X to this guy" switch it up and say "He did X to me."
3) Observe the reaction and learn about yourself. If your friend gasps and says "Oh my God, what a shit head" then congratulations, you're a douche bag!
For example, I once sent a guy flowers. He never thanked me or acknowledged the gesture. But he then went onto social media and made fun of me for sending him flowers. That's a douche bag thing to do. I gave him this challenge, and of course, he didn't have the balls to do it. Because he knows that if he went to his girl-friend and said "Hey Janice. I sent this guy flowers and he made fun of me on Twitter" she would be shocked and curse out this alleged ass-hole... But if ever you're questioning whether you've behaved badly, this is a great way to test out whether your behavior crossed the line.