He’s normally the kind of guy who will make fun of you just to put you in your place, but Paul lavished praise on the book. And then he said something that rocked my world. “Grindr Survivr was powerful, because you were writing under a pen name. Normally, you are afraid that people will think you’re weak. So you don’t share all the deep, insightful things you have inside. I knew you were smart, but I thought you were just a little smart. But there were a lot of powerful things in that book.”
I was like “Wow.” Again, Paul and I normally just talk about what boys he’s playing at the time. We occasionally may talk politics or films. But we don’t often go deep into each others’ psyches’ like that.
And right now, I realize that I’ve been hiding a lot of pain that I’ve been going through, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m weak. But part of relationships means that they end. And part of ending relationships means dealing with loss.
The next few blog posts are going to be about me dealing my loss, rather than my usually funny insights into gay culture. But don't worry, I'll get back to that in the coming weeks and months.