Saturday, October 1, 2016

Intro to this site: Surviving Grindr

Why Start a Blog About Grindr?  

I'm asking myself what is this blog about...  I don't know if it's a regular blog or if it's just a manifesto on gay male behavior or if it's just my crazy ramblings -- possibly all of the above.  

But just so you know, I don't fault the Grindr app for what's happening to the gay community.  Grindr is just a technological tool.  It brought together a number of things that were already happening.  Grindr, Hornet, Scruff and Tinder (or Surge) give people a lot of choices.  And if you live in a large city like I do, the choice is often overwhelming.  And with endless choice, we (as a gay community) have just let basic decency go straight out the window.  Grindr -- as the largest gay dating app -- is, by extension, the largest receptacle of dick heads.  

By the way, I am not saying I don't have the app.  I do have it.  But I use it less.  And to be frank, I'm a bit scared to message people these days.  I feel like I'm walking through a mine field every time I write the phrase "Hey. How are you?"  Every time I send that, I'm fearful that an abusive barrage or just a mean snarky remark and a block awaits me.  

Hmmm...  You may be asking about the author.  I'm not sure how much I should reveal.  I want readers to come at my website with an open mind, and I give too much away, you might not see yourself in my writings.  Also, I'm not out at work, so that's an issue for me.  (And none of you bitches have offered to hook me up with a high-paying job).  

But if you want some details.  I'm 5-11.  I am cute but not gorgeous.  I'm a lawyer, and I went to a top university.  I work out three or four times a week and I have great pecs -- everyone says that.  In theory, I should NOT be single.  I've got a lot of great qualities, and yet I've been single for more than a year.  And it's starting to drive me a bit crazy.  Before Grindr, I was never single for more than a few months.  But now, it seems like it's impossible to find anyone decent.  As I've said, I'm not faulting Grindr on this.  It's just an app.  But it's got me wondering "What the hell is going on?"  

By the way, I freely admit that maybe it's me.   Maybe I've unconsciously become what I hate about these apps.  Or maybe I've become too picky.  But at the very least, I needed to get some of my thoughts out there so maybe we as a community could get a conversation going.  I'm not saying it's all Grindr's fault, and I'm not saying it's all my fault.  Even those nasty bitches who are mean to me, it can't be all their fault either.  But something is wrong.  I'm severely unhappy with the status quo, and someone has to say something about it.  

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